Confused by the Massacre in Connecticut

How to be?

What to feel?

So hard to understand

When feelings roil and churn

Collide

Crash into each other

And then lay dead

A weight in the pit of my stomach.

The sadness and grief and confusion

Refuse to be reconciled.

With present joy and blessings

I can’t feel one

Without it being swept away

By the other.

Feelings of joy

And depths of gratitude

Flood my soul

When I watch

My grandsons play

Squealing with delight

Over little discoveries.

Feelings of sadness

Fear and guilt

Sweep away the joy

As I remember

Twenty little children

Who can no longer play

And parents and grandparents

Who will never

Watch their little ones

Make new discoveries

Or hear their shouts of joy

And laughter ever again.